


A 'Family' Christmas

by Notmarysue



Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Gift Giving, Heteronormativity, Light Angst, heteronormativity still sucks yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27900997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notmarysue/pseuds/Notmarysue
Summary: Lying has always been part of being a spy and Curt has always been good at it. But when his lie about his and Tatiana's relationship spirals out of control, it's up to Tati to try and play along.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 16





	A 'Family' Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, Curt and Tatiana get a fluff fic, as a treat

Somehow, Curt always knew something like this would happen. He didn’t know exactly how or where, but he knew eventually he’d open his big mouth and cause a situation that, while not life threatening, would inconvenience everyone involved. And somehow, he knew it would involve his mother.

Mrs Mega had always been a kind woman. She’d cared for Curt from the day he was born, spending her every waking moment watching him over him as he grew (often a little too inventively, but she meant well). Curt knew she could be understanding too, at least when it came to the things that really mattered. When he’d thrown out the idea of any normal career and started training as an agent, she accepted it. When he visited her bloodied and afraid, she’d been there for him. And when he’d spent four mourning Owen, she’d understood that too, though in her own slightly distorted way. Still, she had pre-set ideas about what a family should be. They had been drilled into her by her parents and their parents before them. The Mega’s were founded on a simple cycle: love, marriage, kids (messy breakups too, but that factor often went overlooked in conversation). These ideas were so set in stone, it never even occurred to Mrs Mega that her son might want any different, and though there was little doubt in Curt’s heart that she would understand if it was ever explained, he always found himself clinging onto a little shred of fear. It was a quiet, nagging uncertainty in the back of his mind that kept him silent. A man like him had many secrets. He knew to be careful with all of them.

It was this uncertainty that had resulted in his current situation. It had started as a small lie. A tiny mistruth that came from the refusal to correct an assumption. As the months went on the small lie became a medium lie, then a big lie, then a full-on fabrication, until eventually Curt had yet another fake life to add to his ever-mounting pile. Now he was stuck paying for it, as he stood shivering in a public phone box, hoping the one person who could help him would pick up.

“Hello, Slozhno residence.” The familiar Russian voice answered.

“Tatiana, hi.” Curt enthusiastically replied, trying to gather his incoherent thoughts.

“Who is this?” Asked Tatiana, a touch of confusion and irritation creeping through her speech.

“It’s Curt.”

“Curt? How did you get this number?”

“You gave it to me.” He reminded her. He probably should have called at some point in the six months since their fight against Chimera. He’d been distracted, burying himself in work. He’d sent letters but received few replies. Life had taken over Tatiana too now that she was with her family again.

“Right…sorry, little jumpy still. I tried to explain to my parents that a landline might not be the best idea but they seem to feel secure, so what can you do?”

“Um…disconnect the phone maybe?” Curt shrugged.

“It was a hypothetical question, Curt.” Tatiana sighed.

“Ah…um listen, I’m calling to ask for a favour. I know this is your first Christmas back with your family, so I completely understand if you say no. Don’t feel like there’s any pressure-”

“I’m a busy, woman, Curt. Spit it out.” She huffed.

“I may have told my mum that we’re engaged…and that you’re coming for Christmas dinner.” He admitted. A long silence hung over them as he waited for a response.

“Why would you do tell her that?” Tatiana replied at last.

“I’m sorry.” Curt exclaimed. “She kept asking about you and I wanted to give her answers that would make her happy. But then she wanted to see you and she was really excited for Christmas after I had to skip thanksgiving and, well I don’t know, I panicked.”

“The great Curt Mega, survivor of the toughest interrogations, panicked.” She mocked playfully.

“Hey, listen, you put a gun to my head and force me to convince a room the sky is green, I’ll give you the most airtight speech you’ve ever heard, but involve my mother and all logic and planning goes out the window.”

“I would like to hear that speech.”

“Only if you involve the gun. That was a prerequisite.” Curt laughed. “Listen, if you can’t make it or you want to spend Christmas with your family, I’m sure I can figure something out. I’ll…I’ll say your working or that you got sick or…I don’t know, you got shot or something.”

“Nonsense. I could never let Mrs Mega down. Send me the details. We probably shouldn’t be discussing things over an unsecured line.”

“It’s Christmas dinner, Tati.”

“Right. Again, little jumpy.”

\----0----

It was strange being back on Mrs Mega’s doorstep. The last time she’d walked in through that door the circumstances had been less than ideal. Dragging Curt around half conscious and covered in blood was far from her favourite hobby. Now the situation was much calmer. A red and green wreath hung on the door. White fairy lights twinkled through the window, wrapped around the shining, hand decorated tree. It had been years since Tatiana had such a peaceful Christmas.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Asked Curt as he rang the doorbell.

“Bit late to back out now.” Tatiana sighed. “Besides, what’s the point of being an expert actress if you can’t help a friend out from time to time?”

“Well, once a spy…” Curt smirked. “Oh, here. Put this on.”

Curt reached into the pocket of his winter coat and pulled out a silver ring with a small diamond. Tatiana smiled and slipped it on. She inspected it under the dim streetlight, watching it glint slightly under the glow.

“Aw, Curt, it’s beautiful. How did you know my ring size?”

“My powers of observance manifest in the strangest ways.” Curt shrugged. Tatiana quickly placed her arm down as the door clicked open. Mrs Mega hadn’t aged a day since they last met. She was a woman caught in time, keeping herself perfectly comfortable in her own little bubble.

“Hello. Hello.” Mrs Mega greeted enthusiastically, pulling Curt into a tight hug.

“Hey mum.” Curt smiled awkwardly.

“It’s so good to see you again.” Mrs Mega finally released Curt from her grasp and stepped back. She turned her attention to Tatiana, who had turned on her full ‘normal woman’ demeanour. She knew there was no need to pretend in front of her. Mrs Mega knew very well what her and her son did for a living. Yet she felt a need to force at least some sense of normalcy on the already strange act she’d found herself in.

“Hello again, Mrs Mega.” Tatiana beamed as Mrs Mega took her hands.

“Oh please, call me Janice…or mum.”

“Urgh mum.” Curt groaned.

“Alright, maybe we’re not there yet.” Mrs Mega nodded. “Well come on in, don’t be standing out here in the cold.”

The pair entered the warm home. Tatiana stood in the hallway as they removed their coats, inspected the painted cream walls. She hadn’t got a good look at the décor the last time she had visited. There had been more pressing matters to attend to. She had to make sure the premise was secure and that her loving host hadn’t somehow been compromised, as well as making sure her new injured ally didn’t manage to pass on in the two seconds she had her back turned. None of that was a concern this time around. Now, with the sense of calm that washed over the household, she took the time to note the framed pictures that lined the way up the stairs. The pictures told a story, as she watched Curt grow from a tiny baby fascinated by the camera, to a boy distracted wooden trucks and racing cars, to a young man already aware of the image he had to maintain. All this time, years of life, all documented with well crafted care. Tatiana couldn’t help but wonder what kind of story her life would form, had someone kept a record of her with such reverence.

Mrs Mega ushered them into the living room, to the same sofa where Curt and Tatiana had their first proper conversation. They settled down as Mrs Mega handed them a glass of white wine. She collected two wrapped gifts from under the tree and perched herself on the edge of a chair next to the sofa.

“Here you are, Curtis. I hope you like it.” She handed Curt a soft present wrapped in silver paper. Curt tore the paper to pieces, revealing a black leather jacket.

“Oh, heck yeah.” Curt exclaimed. He stood up and pulled the jacket on. It fit perfectly. “What do you think?”

“It suits you. Try not to get shot in this one.” Tatiana laughed.

“No promises, but I’ll try my best. Thank you, mum.”

“And for you, Tati.” Mrs Mega smiled, handing her a firm, rectangular package in gold paper.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.” Tatiana blushed.

“Nonsense. It’s the least I can do for my future daughter in law.” She waved dismissively. Tatiana looked at Curt for confirmation. He simply shrugged and picked up his wine. Still unsure, she carefully unwrapped the gift, neatly unfolding the corners of the shining paper. From beneath, she lifted out a brown, leather bound journal with her named embroidered in gold lettering on the cover. Instead were rough, crisp pages, built to last. “Do you like it?”

“I love it. Thank you.” Tatiana replied, pulling Mrs Mega into a hug. Mrs Mega jumped slightly, not expecting such a display of affection from the normally reserved.

“You can use it for what ever you like, but I thought it would make for a nice scrap book.” Mrs Mega explained as Tatiana let her go. “You can put pictures of your family in there or of you and Curt or maybe even of the little ones.”

“Little ones?”

“I know it’s a few years away yet, but after you two get married you’re bound to have kids sooner or later.” Mrs Mega smiled. Curt spluttered as he choked on his wine. Tatiana tried to hide her grimace under an awkward grin. Under the pleasantries, she’d almost forgotten why she was there.

“Ah, well me and Curt hadn’t actually discussed that yet so…”

“Of course, don’t let me rush you into things. I don’t want you to feel like you’re under any pressure.”

“You don’t?” Curt coughed.

“Of course not. Everyone has their own timeline for these things.”

“Thank you for understanding.” Tatiana smiled.

“Though that being said, I’m not getting any younger.”

“There it is.” Curt huffed.

“But it’s your life.” She shrugged. “Anyway, I think that turkey is almost done, so if you’ll excuse me, I need to get the veg going.”

Mrs Mega got up and headed into the kitchen, leaving Curt and Tatiana in a strange silence. No longer the awkward silence of strangers, but the silence of two people who knew each other well enough to let the quiet sit as they considered their words.

“Sorry about this.” Curt sighed as he put his drink down.

“It’s fine.” Tatiana laughed as she placed her new journal on the floor. “It’s sweet how much your mother is, how you say…invested in our relationship, however misguided that may be.”

“No. I mean all of this. You should be spending this Christmas with your family.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” She insisted.

“But that’s not the point.”

“Curt…can I be honest with you?” She asked.

“Yeah, of course. I mean the two of us keeping secrets seems counterproductive at this point.”

“I was kind of hoping something like this would happen. I’d prefer to spend Christmas here with you and your mother than at home.” She admitted.

“Why? Are things not going well?”

“It’s not that. My family are great, they welcomed me back with open arms, but I was foolish. Part of me expecting things to be just as I left them, for time to have frozen in place, but that can’t happen. My older brother is now a father of two, my baby sister is a grown woman. They’ve lived a whole life without me. I’m returning to something that’s no longer mine. But this doesn’t change. You I still know. You I can rely on.”

“It’ll get easier.” Curt assured her. “In time things will start to feel normal again, even if they never feel the same.”

“What if they don’t?”

“Then…I guess we’ll just have to feel ‘abnormal’ together.”

“This is why I like you, Curt.” Tatiana smiled. “Fool that you may be, you still somehow manage to pull the right thing out of nowhere.”

“Now that’s a backhanded compliment if I’ve heard one.” Curt laughed.

“Alright, the turkey is going to be a little more cooked than intended.” Mrs Mega called from the kitchen. The faint smell of smoke filled the air. “Maybe a little crispy.”

“I should probably go help her.” Curt sighed as he got to his feet. “We can eat up and get out of here before she starts questioning the legitimacy of our imaginary marriage.”

“Marriage? I thought we were engaged.” Tatiana corrected. “Unless we got married in the last five minutes and I somehow missed the ceremony.”

“You’d be surprised out how efficient we can be here in America.” Curt pointed out.

“I think I would.” Tatiana nodded.

“Don’t worry, still engaged. It’s going to be a wonderfully long engagement.”

“Good, because if she starts to ask questions, we might have to start discussing an imaginary divorce.” Tatiana smirked as she took a sip of her wine.

“Oh, it’s like that is it?” Curt replied, crossing his arms across his chest in mock offense. “I thought we could work with out.”

“Oh please, everybody knows I’m just in it for the money. I’ll take you for half of everything you’re worth.”

“Ah well that’s where you messed up, my dear. A man has to have assets for you to take half of them.”

“Touché.”

“I’ll be back in a minute. Sit tight, future Mrs Slozhno-Mega. Be prepared to put out a fire.” He grinned as he headed to the kitchen.

“Always am.” Tatiana called after him. She sat alone, smiling as she carefully traced her name on the journal. Maybe she would never have an entirely normal life. That was fine. She knew in her heart she would always have a family, even if it manifested in the strangest of ways.

**Author's Note:**

> Curt and Tati: being premium mlm/wlw solidarity since 1961


End file.
